The Baby Juice Express

The Baby Juice Express (2004)

One false move and the sperm gets it!

A middle class London lad’s gangster fantasies go awry when his dodgy uncle puts them into debt to a real life crime boss. Still pulling strings from behind bars, the kingpin’s only desire is to conceive an heir by smuggling his sperm to his wife on the outside. There’s only one way the boys know how to raise the money fast … hijack the ‘baby juice express’. But kidnapping ‘baby juice’ turns out to be fraught with even more peril than the bumbling wannabes could possibly have imagined in this cheeky spin on the gangster genre. Starring Nick Moran (Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels), with Julian Clary (one of Britain’s funniest) and Joe Bugner (former boxing champion and one of Australia’s toughest!).

5.2
  • Release Date: 2004-04-19
  • Runtime: 1h 25min
  • Director: Michael Hurst

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Cast

  • Nick Moran

    Des

  • Nick Brimble

    Krakowski

  • Lisa Faulkner

    Lauren

  • Phil Davis

    Frank O'Reilly

  • Samantha Womack

    Trixie (as Samantha Janus)

  • Joe Bugner

    Palooka

  • Julian Clary

    Jason

  • Angela Douglas

    Celestia

  • David Cardy

    Goldberg

  • Ruth Jones

    Gladys

  • Dave Courtney

    Baxter

  • Gary Tiplady

    Burke

  • Callum Dixon

    Hare

  • Hugh Fraser

    Arthur Burnett CBE

  • Howard Lew Lewis

    Kent

  • Paterson Joseph

    Sean Boetang

  • Stephen Marcus

    Lenny Von Something

  • Ray Parlour

    Vince

  • Cleo Rocos

    Sharon

  • Steve Speirs

    Mystery Man

  • David Seaman

    Huge Gangster

  • Terry Stone

    Repro Man

  • Badi Uzzaman

    Singh