Nearly 7-foot-tall Australian Nathan Jones stars as gentle giant Barney Emerald, who's mugged and robbed on a vacation trip to Thailand and ends up being rescued and taken in by two Thai sisters in this comic martial arts saga.
Between his tax problems and his legal battle with his wife for the custody of his daughter, these are hard times for the action movie star who finds that even Steven Seagal has pinched a role from him! This fictionalized version of Jean-Claude Van Damme returns to the country of his birth to seek the peace and tranquility he can no longer enjoy in the United States, but inadvertently gets involved in a bank robbery with hostages.
Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment - such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing "Neckbelts" and a study finding that "depression hits losers hardest". This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion.
When their regal matriarch falls ill, the troubled Vuillard family come together for a hesitant Christmastime reunion. Among them is rebellious ne'er-do-well Henri and the uptight Elizabeth. Together under the same roof for the first time in many years, their intricate, long denied resentments and yearnings emerge again.
When Count Bloodspit and his family of ghouls return from the Vampire Mirror World to feast on young virgins, they find famed Vampire Hunter Dr. Ludvic hot on their trail. When Ludvic steals the family crest off of Bloodspit’s coffin, the villainous vampire finds himself trapped in our dimension. Now, the hunt is on as Dr. Ludvic chases BLOODSPIT around the world trying to bury a stake in his heart once and for all!
After several years away, FBI agent Henry Durand returns to find his mother, Marty, a much different person: Having long mourned for Henry's father, she is now embracing single life. One day, while Marty, Henry and his new fiancée, Emily, are out for a walk, they meet Tommy, a mysterious stranger with whom Marty then becomes involved. However, through his FBI contacts, Henry learns that Tommy is suspected of being an art thief. As a young federal agent, Henry is given a difficult assignment: spy on his mother and her boyfriend who is suspected of leading a gang of art thieves.
In the future, the desert country of Turaqistan is torn by a riot after private corporation Tamerlane, owned by the former Vice President of the United States, has taken over. Brand Hauser, a hitman who suppresses his emotions by gobbling down hot sauce, is hired by the corporation's head to kill the CEO of their competitors.
High school loser Danny Stein needs a prom date. As a cause of anxiety for Danny, Bart Beeber, the nerdiest guy in school, has already found a date. At the same time, Danny's divorced parents are both seeking relationships again.
Follow a day of the life of Big Buck Bunny when he meets three bullying rodents: Frank, Rinky, and Gamera. The rodents amuse themselves by harassing helpless creatures by throwing fruits, nuts and rocks at them. After the deaths of two of Bunny's favorite butterflies, and an offensive attack on Bunny himself, Bunny sets aside his gentle nature and orchestrates a complex plan for revenge.
Disenchanted pest worker and single dad Freddie Manning unintentionally steals and then loses mob money and now he really is in trouble. So when a run-down Baptist church mistakes him and his best friend Junior for replacement ministers, he grabs at the opportunity that might save his life.
Jack and Jill's Manifesto of Rules to Live By Rule 1 Be honest Rule 2 Believe in fairy tales Rule 3 Accept time as our friend Rule 4 Make sure the nooky is good Rule 5 Promote beauty. Wage a sustained campaign against ugliness Rule 6 Abandon the pursuit of happiness and its false promise Rule 7 Show compassion, except to pirates Rule 8 Less TV Rule 9 Always be willing to admit when you're wrong
Hollywood Roses is starting to make it big and they’re ready for the next step. Of course all their success has come after the band killed off the original founder, Drake. Once they realized he was holding them back, they turned on him and now they’re the best thing out there. Of course his girlfriend hasn’t forgiven them and now the band is gonna have to deal with Drake’s Ghost!
You know that one art critic you love to hate? The critic whose sole mission in life seems to be savaging the dreams of artists, curators and gallery owners everywhere? The critic who has learned, by heart, every possible snarky synonym for "bad" but couldn't spit out the word "good" even as flames licked at his stake-bound feet? The critic who we suspect hasn't enjoyed a 'romantic interlude' since 1992 and would, given the the opportunity, unapologetically slam his own mother's work hanging at the local district library? Yes. "Mr. Art Critic" is that heinous guy.
It's Bad For Ya, Carlin's Emmy nominated 14th and final HBO special from March of 2008 features Carlin's noted irreverent and unapologetic observations on topics ranging from death, religion, bureaucracy, patriotism, overprotected children and big business to the pungent examinations of modern language and the decrepit state of the American culture.
Emma, a radio host, is about to be married to Richard, her perfect match. But right before her wedding, she learns she's already married to Patrick, a charming but irresponsible fireman. Furthermore, Patrick has a secret: he has arranged this little trick because Emma advised Patrick's ex-fiancée to end their relationship. However, Patrick may find that the trick is on him, for he soon begins to fall in love with his uptight adversary.