When the local FBI office receives a letter from a terrorist known only as 'The Citizen', it's quickly determined that he's planning his next act at the Miss America beauty pageant. Because tough-as-nails Gracie Hart is the only female Agent at the office, she's chosen to go undercover as the contestant from New Jersey.
Everyone eventually meets the love of their lives. Sometimes, like Danny and Julia, that person comes along when you are 13 years old. Other times, like Hubbie and his sweetheart, star-crossed love makes getting together a life-long adventure. This heartwarming story will make you feel like falling in love all over again.
After a long lonely period of involuntary celibacy, Marty Sachs decides that he has had enough of New York and wants to pack up and run the family business in Maine. Yet before he leaves, he meets two available, attractive women, both named Nina. Nina Cohen shares many of the same eccentric interests as Marty, but she has grow gun-shy from one too many bad relationships. Blonde bombshell Nina Harris literally knocks Marty off his feet in an ill-fated attempt at snagging a cab.
The sheriff and his deputies from the first movie decide to take a vacation in the Caribbean. Their holiday will be short-lived, however, as the thawed murderer gets inadvertently re-frozen and brought back to life. As if that weren't bad enough, he now has the ability to remain frozen even in tropical temperatures, and he's headed south to settle some old scores.
Cat and Gene have been divorced for several years. They are both visiting their son and their grandchildren, Sydney and Willie. Willie's a genius who develops a formula that makes who uses it young again, it inadvertently spills into some soap that Willie places in his grandparents room. When each of them uses it they finds themselves 17 again. Willie had to find a way to reverse the process but will his grandparents want to be old again?
In this horror parody, a masked serial killer menaces the town of Bulimia Falls with various sharp objects. Attention-seeking television personality Hagitha Utslay is soon on the scene, reporting on the ever-growing body count. Former mall security guard Doughy shows up to protect the teenage population, but he's clearly not much help, allowing the murderer to pick off even more hapless kids as numerous scary movies are referenced.
In 1994, three filmmakers went into the woods to film a documentary about the legendary Blair Witch. They disappeared and have never been found… But the film grossed a lot of money. How come? We don't know... In 2000, three more filmmakers went into the woods to find out what happened to the three unfortunate filmmakers... They also disappeared... But what did all these people do? A collection of short films by filmmakers searching for their "Witch" in an attempt to imitate the 1999 blockbuster.
Jack is a wanderer whose aimless roaming leads him to a number of interesting locations and into the company of many interesting people, and despite his fascination with bullfighting he leads a largely peaceful existence. When a crime boss' daughter is accidentally gored to death, Jack is implicated in the unfortunate event and singled out for termination by a seemingly unending army of lethal hitmen. As Jack wages an uphill battle for survival against the harsh desert terrain and a hail of gun smoke and lead, his will to live depends on his ability to exercise his demons and come to terms with the fact that he may not live to see another sunrise.
Matthew, a college freshman, meets his dream girl in a dorm elevator during a blackout. He never sees her face, but instantly falls in love. In the morning, the power is restored, but the "dream girl" has vanished. All Matthew knows is that she lives in an all-girls dorm. He sets out on a semester-long journey to find his mystery girl among a hundred female suspects. Could it be Wendy? Dora? Arlene? Patty? Cynthia? Or the 95 other girls, any of whom could have been in that elevator with Matthew.
Jack is a three-year-old chimpanzee who has been the subject of a long-term experiment by Dr. Kendall, a researcher who been teaching Jack to communicate through sign language. Jack scrambles onto the ice in the midst of practice for Steven's junior league hockey team, and he and his teammates discover the monkey has a natural talent for the game.
After a military plane crashes outside of a small American town, its cargo — a genetically engineered, sixty-foot-long python — begins stalking and killing the locals.
Sugar Bear, a detective from San Francisco, is called down to New York City by their police chief to assist officer Harry Cox. Their mission is to take down the corrupt crime ring controlled by Big Baby Sweets and his two right-hand men, Big Stank and Lil' Poot.
When Lulu receives an e-mail from high school friend Duffy, she makes a spur-of-the-moment decision to visit her old pal. Taking her gay friend Fred, the two drive from New York to Maine, where the surprised Duffy welcomes them into her home. In the days that follow all three of them make unexpected connections, even as Lulu begins to suspect that Duffy may be hiding something from her.
Juan is now in his fifties, has a protruding belly, dyes his hair gray and lives alone with a cat who has urinary problems, but despite this, women still find him attractive.
A small New Mexican village discovers a severed hand that is considered a miracle of God, when it actually belongs to a murdered spouse with a husband in search of it.