Just when covert assassin Eddie Jones decides to ditch his dangerous job to settle down with his girlfriend, his superiors convince him to kill a renegade drug cartel hit man -- leading to nothing but trouble. Complicating matters is Eddie's vow of celibacy and the fact that Lois is unaware of his murderous lifestyle.
A movie about a relationship...that's worse than yours. Seth (Stewart), a sitcom writer-producer, meets Chelsea (Wilson), an interior decorator, at his best friend's (Bellamy) wedding. He's immediately sexually attracted to her while she's instantly attracted to his single-ness. They both ditch their wedding dates and start their own date that same night. The two become a couple, appearing very happy until after a couple of years of postponing a marriage proposal. When Chelsea realizes that Seth wants to remain single and together, she becomes quite bitter. In the next hour of the movie, the two engage in behavior that makes the War of the Roses look like child's play.
A store clerk and an ice cream truck driver are thrown together when a dying scientist entrusts them with a deadly chemical kept in ice. This chemical will kill every living thing once it melts. They have to take the chemical codenamed 'Elvis' to the next nearest military base while being chased by terrorists who want it to hold the country for ransom.
Virgil, an eccentric freak billionaire, spends his days being a "biological inventor." The "blood dolls," his newest creation, aid him in getting revenge on those who betrayed him.
Simon is a brainy but bashful 13-year-old who could use a best friend. But when he finally finds one, it turns out to be a 4000-year-old genie whose wish-granting skills need a serious tune-up! Before you can say "Hocus pocus", Simon and his magic-challenged buddy unleash an outrageous onslaught of wildly off-target wishes - attracting the attentions of a government scientist with an evil plan. Now Simon is about to learn that when the chips are down, friendship is the most powerful magic of all!
A female Secret Service agent goes against protocol to save the U.S. president from an assassination attempt. She is reassigned to protect the president's daughter, which she considers a demotion. When the first daughter is kidnapped during a hiking trip, the agent and a river guide go to rescue her.
Two high school girls wander off during a class trip to the White House and meet President Richard Nixon. They become the official dog walkers for Nixon's dog Checkers, and become his secret advisors during the Watergate scandal.
When Madeline's long lost uncle Horst arrives to take her to a Viennese finishing school, Miss Clavel, the eleven little girls and Pepito realize that something is not right.
Gabriel is a young, aspiring musical composer whose life seems stuck in the First Act. When his new musical number gets a critical reception, a theatre colleague, Perry, tells Gabriel that he needs to get a life before he can write about one – so he heads straight for his local gay bar.
In the panicky, uncertain hours before his wedding, a groom with prenuptial jitters and his two best friends reminisce about growing up together in the middle-class African-American neighborhood of Inglewood, California. Flashing back to the twenty-something trio's childhood exploits, the memories capture the mood and nostalgia of the '80s era.
In a small Minnesota town, the annual beauty pageant is being covered by a TV crew. Former winner Gladys Leeman wants to make sure her daughter follows in her footsteps; explosions, falling lights, and trailer fires prove that. As the Leemans are the richest family in town, the police are pretty relaxed about it all. Despite everything, main rival (but sweet) Amber Atkins won't give up without a fight.
After a boy's parents decide to divorce, he creates a "support group" for all the kids from failed marriages in his school. When kids who's parents aren't divorced start to pick on them, they agree to cause their parents to divorce as well.
When Martin Luxford leaves jail, he decides to form a swing band, having been taught to play the saxophone by his cellmate Jack. Returning to his native Liverpool, Martin pulls together a backing band of misfits and loners, and recruits his ex-girlfriend Joan as a singer. Things are complicated somewhat by the fact that Joan is now married to the policeman who arrested Martin, and when the band's first gig - at a heavy metal pub - goes badly, it seems as though the road to musical success may be a rocky one.
Eddie Izzard takes her show to San Francisco to give a brief history of pagan and Christian religions, the building of Stonehenge, the birth of the Church of England and of Western empires, and the need for a European dream.
Privileged teenage friends Jenny, Nell and Stream spend their senior year on a quest to rid Stream of her virginity. However, Stream wants more than just her first sexual experience. She wants to have an orgasm -- but achieving this proves problematic, as the boys she meets are hardly sensitive enough to provide her the release she seeks. When it becomes clear that Nell and Jenny have never experienced an orgasm either, all three set out to get one.
An academic obsessed with roadside attractions and his tv-star daughter stop at a small desert town to see the world's largest ice cream cone, where, because of an accident that spilled an unknown substance all over the highway, they are forced to spend a few days with the towns eccentric residents.