During a session with his psychoanalyst, Alexander Portnoy rants about everything that is bothering him. His complaints include his childhood and his family with an emphasis on his mother, his sexual fantasies and the problems that he has with women, and his obsessive feelings about his Judaism.
Demetri Martin entertains the New York City audience with a terrific set that brings the hysterical wonders of his smart, quick witted imagination to life.
Chuck Rodwell is a gambling cowboy who discovers that he's lucky at the roulette wheel if he holds hands with dancer Marie. However, Marie doesn't like to hold hands with him, at least not in the beginning...
Wong Hsia Yuan is an old-fashioned martial arts master who's so behind the times that he'd rather his school be destroyed than change its ways. He may get his wish, thanks to the young, beautiful, intelligent Chan Mei Ling, who arrives from the states to open a new branch of the school. Armed with an unfamiliar, modern way of thinking, Mei Ling goes about recruiting new students in strange, and sometimes questionably legal ways. Yuan is furious, but when the local triads enter the picture, the two put their differences aside to take back the neighborhood.
As punishment for their incompetence in battle, disgraced Union soldier Capt. Jared Heath and his apathetic commanding officer, Col. Claude Brackenbury, are reassigned away from the front lines. The hapless Heath and Brackenbury must now lead a ragtag group on a classified mission to protect a transport for the U.S. Treasury. Complicating matters is Martha Lou Williams, a Confederate agent posing as a lady of the evening.
In 1911, a widow with two children leaves New York City for territorial Arizona and becomes a ranch hand and later gets herself elected sheriff. A gambler and a rancher become rivals for her affections.
Ad-agency president Dan Edwards goes to Mexico to celebrate his nineteenth wedding anniversary and winds up getting divorced by mistake, whereupon his wife Valerie marries his best friend Ernie Brewer by mistake.
A scientist carelessly dumps some toxic waste into a river. The gardener at a nudist camp drinks the water, turns into a monster and attacks all the (female) nudists.
Mr. Casey's daughter, Connie, wants to go to Pottawatomie College and without her knowledge, he sends four football players as her bodyguards. The college is in financial trouble and her bodyguards use their salary to help the college. The football players join the college team, and the team becomes one of the best. One of the football players, Clint, falls in love with Connie, but when she discovers he is her bodyguard, she decides to go back East. The bodyguards follow her, leaving the team in the lurch.
To stop Pinkie's widowed, struggling mother Dottie from marrying a well-off older man they know she doesn't love, teenager Pinkie and her best friend Buzz kidnap her in the family travel trailer to live a carefree life on the open road. They then get the idea to find Dottie a financially secure husband whom both she and Pinkie would like.
A famous opera singer, Giorgio Fini, loses his voice during an American tour. He goes to a female throat specialist, Pamela Taylor, whom he falls in love with.
On 17-year-old Kate's last weekend in town, she and her friends plan to spend it together at SpaceCON– the local science fiction convention they attend every year. At the convention Kate meets Paul, a recently turned teen-vampire (who is also dressed as one). But when Kate tries to make a move on him, he accidentally bites her in the neck. Kate and her friends soon discover Paul is not the only vampire at the convention, and it is up to them to stop the vampires and find a way to turn Kate back before it is too late.
Karen can't believe that she has to work her receptionist gig on a gorgeous Fourth of July. Then a call comes from her long-lost father and sets in motion a crazy chain of events that will change one small town forever. Meanwhile, Megan must decide between the stability of her longtime girlfriend and the thrill of a new love. Young Ray fends off bullies and organized sports to woo the girl he likes. In a little burg like this, you’d better believe everything is connected, which means that pretty soon everyone is mixed up in each other’s business.
Terry is an up and coming comedian, but believes politics will get him the big breaks and more time at the popular Dukie's Comedy Club. Just so happens that Terry is 'sleeping' with Ruby Lynn Sinclair, the wife of club owner Dukie Sinclair. What follows is a night of comedy, romance, comedy, action, comedy, and Terry achieving his initial goal: getting $67 dollars to pay his phone bil