Mafia hitman Tommy Spinelli is flying to San Diego with a bag that holds eight severed heads, which he's bringing to his superiors to prove that some troublesome rival mobsters are permanently out of the picture. When his bag gets accidentally switched at the airport, Tommy must track down his duffel bag and the 8 heads it contains.
Everyone hates Ward’s wife and wants her dead, Ward most of all. But when his friends’ murderous fantasies turn into an (accidental) reality, they have to deal with a whole new set of problems — like how to dispose of the body and still make their 3 p.m. tee time.
Michael Corben, along with the rest of his high-school French class, sets out for a trip to France when he is mistaken for an agent of the same name. He is beseiged by both the good guys and the bad guys. British Intelligence outfits him with a series of James-Bond-like gizmos, and Steranko sends more would-be assassins after him. Can Michael stop the evil Steranko's plans for European domination?
A sudden loss disrupts Carol’s orderly life, propelling her into the dating world for the first time in 20 years. Finally living in the present tense, she finds herself swept up in not one, but two unexpected relationships that challenge her assumptions about what it means to grow old.
Ollie falls in love with a woman. When he discovers she's already married, he unsuccessfully attempts suicide but he and Stan then decide to join the Foreign Legion to get away from their troubles. When they’re arrested for soon trying to desert the Legion—they escape a firing squad by stealing an aircraft.
Lung is a talented fighter but prefers to spend his time loafing around and picking fights, despite orders from his grandfather not to fight. Unknown to him, a brutal general has been slaughtering all the people from his grandfather’s clan. When the general recognizes Lung’s style of kung fu during one of his street fights, he hunts down Lung’s grandfather and kills him.
To climb the corporate ladder to success, a businessman agrees to coach his company's all-girl soccer team with the help of his secret weapon: his fiancee's son.
When the American Chicken Bunker, a military themed fast food restaurant, builds its latest chain restaurant on the site of an ancient Native American burial ground, the displaced spirits take revenge on unsuspecting diners and transform them into chicken zombies! Now, it’s up to a dimwitted counter boy, his collegiate lesbian ex-girlfriend and a burqa-wearing fry cook to put an end to the foul feathered menace once and for all.
Sam Clayton's marriage to ex-stripper Freddie comes about when she's strong-armed into the match by Red, a club proprietor who once did her a favor. But Freddie falls in love with Jjaks, Sam's brother, and the pair tries to escape the situation together. It isn't long before both Sam and Red catch up with them, resulting in threats against the two of them -- although tension also starts to build between Sam and Red.
Ambitious young Manhattanite and urban conservationist Beth wants it all: a good job, good friends, and a good guy to share the city with. Of course that last one is often the trickiest of all. Beth falls hard for Tommy, a sexy, young Wall Street hot-shot. But just as everything seems to be falling into place, complications arise in the form of Tommy's sensitive and handsome co-worker Daniel. Beth soon learns that the game of love in the big city is a lot like Wall Street -- high risk, high reward and everybody has an angle.
Nearly a decade after a faulty product landed him in prison, an arrogant inventor is determined to restore his reputation and rebuild his fortune. But first, he has to convince his estranged daughter that he's worthy of a second chance.
Deathly ill Count Dracula and his slimy underling, Anton, travel to Italy in search of a virgin's blood. They're welcomed at the crumbling estate of indebted Marchese Di Fiore, who's desperate to marry off his daughters to rich suitors. But there, instead of pure women, the count encounters incestuous lesbians with vile blood and Marxist manservant Mario, who's suspicious of the aristocratic Dracula.
A hybrid creature - half piranha and half anaconda -- attacks a low-budget horror movie crew on location near her nest when her egg is stolen. Now they must outrun and kill the deadly piranhaconda as well as stop the mad scientist who stole the egg - before they all become dinner.