Two cannibalistic brothers kill various young women to make their flesh part of a new special dish at their rundown restaurant while seeking blood sacrifices to awaken a dormant Egyptian goddess.
Based in a London suburb Mahmud Nasir lives with his wife, Saamiya, and two children, Rashid and Nabi. His son plans to marry Uzma, the step-daughter of Egyptian-born Arshad Al-Masri, a so-called 'Hate Cleric' from Waziristan, Pakistan. Mahmud, who is not exactly a devout Muslim, he drinks alcohol, and does not pray five times, but does agree that he will appease Arshad, without whose approval the marriage cannot take place. Shortly thereafter Mahmud, while going over his recently deceased mother's documents, will find out that he was adopted, his birth parents were Jewish, and his name is actually Solly Shimshillewitz.
Phillip Filmore is a naive, 15-year-old, preoccupied with sex, who develops a crush on Nicole Mallow, the new 30-something, French housekeeper and sitter to look after him when Phillip's father is out of town for the summer on a "business" trip. But Mr. Filmore's unscrupulous chauffeur, Lester Lewis, takes advantage of Phillip's crush on Nicole to hire her to seduce the youth, then draws her into a plot to fake her own death in a blackmail scheme aimed to drain Phillip's trust fund.
When a super girly-girl is dumped by her boyfriend; she decides to do everything she can to get him back by building a college gymnastics team, quickly learning that she is capable of a lot more than just getting an MRS degree.
Mr. Hoppy is a shy old man who lives alone in an apartment building. For many years, he has been secretly in love with Mrs. Silver, a woman who lives below him. Mr. Hoppy frequently leans over his balcony and exchanges polite conversation with Mrs. Silver, but he is too shy to disclose how he feels. Mr. Hoppy longs to express his feelings to Mrs. Silver, but he can never bring his lips to form the words. Mrs. Silver has a small pet tortoise, Alfie, whom she loves very much. One morning, Mrs. Silver mentions to Mr. Hoppy that even though she has had Alfie for many years, her pet has only grown a tiny bit and has gained only 3 ounces in weight. She confesses that she wishes she knew of some way to make her little Alfie grown into a larger, more dignified tortoise. Mr. Hoppy suddenly thinks of a way to give Mrs. Silver her wish and win her affection.
Hard-as-nails cop Jake Stone moves in with the Robbersons so he can watch a hitman who has moved in next door. The hitman is one thing, but can he survive the Robberson family?
Dolemite is a pimp who was set up by Willie Greene and the cops, who have planted drugs, stolen furs, and guns in his trunk and got him sentenced to 20 years in jail. One day, Queen B and a warden planned to get him out of Jail and get Willie Green and Mitchell busted for what they did to him.
Young lovers in London are wrapped up in a love triangle that may not be exactly what it seems. Carmen, a beautiful Spanish woman with a tendency to lose her temper at the drop of a hat, is about to be married to Barnaby, a caring, wealthy, but slightly boring Englishman. While out with friends on her 'hen night' she encounters a stranger who suddenly sparks a passion that has been sleeping within her. As her wedding date approaches, she finds herself struggling to put this newcomer out of her mind, but his effect on her keeps growing stronger. What is it that he sees in her, and why does she feel like she's being pushed inevitably into his arms?
With the rent due and his car booted, Sean has to come up with some ends...and fast. When his best buddy and roommate Dee Loc, suggests that Sean get a job busting suds down at the local car wash.
A chemical accident turns ordinary donuts into blood thirsty killers. Now it's up to Johnny, Michelle and Howard to save their sleepy town from...Killer Donuts.
Bride-to-be Jessie Patterson calls off her third engagement - during the ceremony! She swears off serious relationships, until she meets and is pursued by Aiden MacTiernan. Aiden, on the other hand, has bet his friends he is marriage material, and can find a fiancé in the four weeks leading up to Christmas. When Jessie and Aiden begin to fall for each other, Jessie must decide if she is ready for serious love, and Aiden must decide if his bet is worth risking his relationship with Jessie.
A scientist and his sidekick accidentally clone a journalist and decide to turn the mistake into Repli-Kate, their idea of the perfect woman, who loves, beer, football, and frat parties.
Desperate to be free from her drunken, unloving mother Diane, the beautiful, scheming young Mini seduces her stepfather Martin and soon convinces him to join her in a sadistic scheme to have Diane declared insane. But their conspiracy soon escalates to murder and when John Garson, a young detective starts investigating, Martin and Mini begin to turn on each other.
In a quiet countryside farmhouse, Britain's vampires gather for their once-every-fifty-years meeting. Others will be joining them too; Sebastian Crockett, an unwitting Essex boy who thinks he's on a promise with sexy cougar Vanessa; and a detachment of Special Forces vampire killers who have bitten off more than they can chew. This is certainly going to be a night to remember... and for some of them it will be their last.